memorial service stuff

The memorial service for my father is scheduled for Saturday, December 31, 2011, at 11:00 am at St Eugene's Church in Asheville, NC. In lieu of flowers, people are asked to make charitable donations. My father was partial to the Salvation Army, but you may give to your favorite in his name instead.

I have been asked to give an elegy eulogy (an elegy is a poem). Below is my first draft:

Every person has many aspects, and I would like to talk about three aspects of my father, Bill Brittain:

First, he was a teacher. He taught school on Long Island prior to retiring and moving to this area years ago, and then, of course, he taught at the College for Seniors for years; he had students who took courses for no other reason than that he was the one teaching. And, as you think of him, ask yourself: was he ever not a teacher? Even in small groups or in single conversation, he'd start talking about something or other, and a few minutes in, you'd realize that he'd just given you another idea about how things were related, or how one came from another, entertaining you all the while.

Second, he was a writer. Even if you haven't read any of his writing, those of you who knew him as a teacher won't find that hard to believe! The story he told me was that he had read stories in pulp mystery magazines, and decided he could do as good a job, or better. So he tried, and he did, although he gathered a ream of rejection letters in the process. He got good enough, though, that dozens of his mystery stories were published, and later fourteen thirteen of his children's books, one being awarded a Newbery Honor.

Finally, he was my father. He and my mother sent my sister and me to college, and raised us to be the people we have become. That father-child relationship is always complicated; it is never the simple, ideal relationship that Disney would have us believe. But he was there for us. I know that he had a troubled relationship with his own, distant father, and resolved to be engaged more in our lives than the father he had. And I tell you as I stand here, he made good on that resolution. I told him before he died that I hoped that he was proud of what he did for, and gave to, his two children.

My family and I thank you for your presence and your support. We hope we may continue to count on you all.

Feelings are close to the surface in my family; I have argued with my mother, and I expect that my sister will take sides. I expect we will reconcile before the service. And it has taken this long, all of these three-plus days, for me to think anything about my father except how angry I was with him; it is only now, and with effort, that I have been able to remember fun times, or even relaxed times. I did not expect that.

Edit 12/21/11: Mother likes the eulogy; it's a wrap.