The obsequies for the excellent father-in-law occurred this week. I went along to provide support for my wife and her family, and to express how much I will miss him, too, but this experience was not about me - it was about my mother-in-law, and it was about my wife and her sisters. I was mostly able to keep that in mind.
But it was exhausting for me. I was spending a lot of time around people I don't know, many of whom I could not even speak to. While I was pleasantly surprised at those of our friends appeared either at the wake or the funeral, still, it was tiring to speak to them. We slept there, in the basement apartment, so I was a bit offput by that, and, in general, it was a bit of a disorienting experience.
I mostly kept it together until, late on the day of the funeral, I just lost it and swore about some minor thing Regina had done in front of people who were important to her. And now my whole memory of the event is tainted by that.