Sunday, September 12, 2010


Some people hear voices that seem to come from somewhere other than their own consciousnesses. Sometimes, these voices say the most awful things to, and about, them.

I don't have voices. Instead, I have my own thoughts. And sometimes, I think the most awful things about myself. Sometimes it feels like the only difference between me, and the people with the voices, is that I don't think the words are coming from somewhere else; I know I'm saying this stuff to myself.

I have a panic disorder that kicks in, sometimes, and these words may be worse when the panic disorder is accelerating. It's been bad today. It's Sunday, I'm going back to work tomorrow, and I have some unpleasant things I need to do, including making up for a mistake I made on Friday.

I understand that exercise is supposed to mitigate these experiences. I can only imagine how crazy I would be if I were not exercising.

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