Tomorrow, I'm scheduled for a colonoscopy. So yesterday, I pigged out on junk food, because today I'm on a clear-liquid diet (water, some fruit juices, lemonade, tea [no coffee], broth; for "solid food" I get Jello). With that, I have a preparation of 64 oz. of Gatorade and two laxatives that I have to go through before bedtime. I've been to the toilet more frequently than I ever have without simultaneously suffering food poisoning, and the end, in the quaint nineteenth-century phrase, is not yet.
I'm reminded of some of my hippie macrobiotic friends who swear by the internal detox and these cleaning-out regimens. They say they feel so clean and pure afterwards. Balderdash. I think these people just have an unhealthy fascination with effluvia and toilets; I just feel sore and empty (not really hungry, although I'd like to chew on something), and I have a headache coming on. As soon as this is over, I'm gonna go eat some unhealthy junk to restore the balance.
I gotta go.
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